I have always associated the number 501 with darts but it’s now a number that holds a significant record, the lowest attendance in a Scottish Premier League match. Yes, only 501 brave souls bothered to turn up and watch Gretna v Dundee Utd.  It was only to be expected after seeing the poor Gretna support on the opening game of the season. What surprised me though was the poor turn out from Dundee Utd who are pushing for 3^rd place and had just sold 17,000 tickets for the CIS Cup Final, 16,750 sold to the glory hunters obviously. Perhaps their Giro’s couldn’t stretch to the cost of the cup final tickets and a league match in the one week.

What also surprised me was Gretna going into administration. They had been bankrolled by multi millionaire Brooke Mileson up through the divisions to reach the SPL, his field of his dreams. Yet having played three quarters of the matches, the plug is pulled on the steady stream of cash that has flowed into the club. Mr Mileson’s illness was an opportunity for his family to call a halt after seeing their inheritance dwindle away on daddy’s fantasy football club. Gretna will return to where they belong, a club are only as strong and good as their fan base and Gretna belong in the 3^rd division.

It used to annoy me when Falkirk were in the lower divisions and didn’t get much coverage in the Sunday papers, TV or radio. Then along came the SPL winter shut down and the radio pundits and cameras flocked to the grounds of the lower clubs to fill their programme schedules and newspaper columns. The lack of Saturday fixtures on the Scottish Cup quarter final weekend forced the “Sundays” to have full page colour spreads of Peterhead v Raith Rovers and Stranraer v Arbroath and they even stretched to a 2 page match report of Rangers UEFA Cup opponents Werder Bremen with their game against Stuttgart. Now I’m not really interested in Rangers UEFA opponents but if the lower leagues deserve such good coverage, then it should be covered every week and not just when the so called big clubs aren’t playing and done out of necessity to fill pages.

Ranger’s Goalkeeper Alan McGregor may have kept a few clean sheets at Ibrox this season but he’s not been as careful elsewhere as he has left his mark on many sheets across the country (allegedly). The News of the World reports that whilst McGregor has been loved up with his long time girl friend he has also been keeping another six girls happy on the sidelines. Now I’ve heard of squad rotation but this is taking it too far. What I’d like to know is what are they feeding him on at Murray Park? Whatever it is they should bottle it up and sell it off, the Ibrox equivalent to Viagra, two bottles over here please! A Rangers Club Official (a small fat balding coach ) said, “That’s my boy.”

The frustrations of Ashley Cole were evident during the Chelsea v Spurs match. The six month sex ban imposed on him by wife Cheryl is beginning to have an effect on the poor soul. With Cheryl turning her back on Cole at nights as he pleads his case, he must now thinks that it’s normal practise to face the other way when having a conversation. Or perhaps it was playing at White Hart Lane that had him confused, as Cheryl warned him that if he “played away” again their relationship is finished.

I’ve always admired managers and players who are honest, show a healthy respect for their opponents, give a good interview and a fair assessment of how their team performed even in defeat and I have never liked Gordon Strachan. He definitely has the “wee man” syndrome and mixed in with his ginger coated cranium is a recipe for “Tosser with attitude”.

So wee Gordon is embarrassed about Falkirk’s half finished stadium.  I’m quite sure if FFC completed their stadium and bought a side good enough to compete with the Old Firm, our debt would still be less than theirs. I know one thing for sure, if he was a relative of mine and behaved the way he does when the cameras are on him, I’d be embarrassed.

He also thinks it is embarrassing to see a stadium half full. His cheeks must have been flushed quite a bit recently when only 30,000 odd turned up at Parkhead to watch their defeat to Aberdeen in the Scottish Cup and 3,500 turned up at Livingston to watch their match against Gretna. Perhaps the unwashed are voting with their feet and he’ll be off shortly and his cringing interviews will no longer grace our screens.  

And finally, the SPL just seem to go from major boob to major boob. The rescheduling of the Falkirk v Aberdeen match with only 9 clear days notice is a disgrace. They have shown no consideration to the fans who have made arrangements and forked out cash and are chasing fans away from the game.